A lady in Washington found a rare pearl in her clam. Well, not HER clam, a clam she was eating. At a restaurant. A REAL CLAM. You pervs. Anyway, she thought it was the restaurants staff’s jewelry, like it fell into her clam. (STOP IT). Then she pocketed the pearl anyway, EVEN THOUGH SHE THOUGHT IT WAS THE KITCHEN STAFF’S JEWELRY. And now everyone is happy about it. I’m all, whatever! That bitch “stole” what she thought was someone else’s property. Psssssh. Who does that?

Corey Taylor said he’ll step away from Slipknot before he’s 60. Then the internet lost it’s mind. Well, duh, I doubt any of us want to see Slipknot touring when they’re 60.

The Walking Dead set to “Yakety Sax” is definitely good for a giggle.