Wisconsin is making national headlines….and not for stuff we should be proud of. HA! Anyway… up first….

A stripper bit a customer in the crotch during a lap dance. BIT HIS CROTCH. Duder called the cops, they showed up and the dancer was too hammered to cooperate. Hopefully he got a couple free drinks to help make up for his damaged junk. Ouchie!

Second Wisco headline trending is the Burger King Coupon Throwdown. Two broads could face up to 6 years in jail for physically abusing a child because they jumped a 16 year old Burger King cashier. Why would they do such a thing? Because the cashier wouldn’t accept Latonia Howell’s fistful of coupons, that’s why.  What do you do when your mom gets shut down when she tries to order a shiz load of food with a shiz load of coupons? Well, you beat the minimum wage workers ass who is just following protocol, duh!!! WTF ppl!!! Latonia’s daughter, Jasmeika Shaneise Simon, jumped the employee cuz her mom was being “disrespected.” Stop it. Just stop it.

Some dude in Georgia decided to blow up his old lawnmower, by filling it with explosives and then shooting it. He blew his leg off. Dude, you’re doing wrong. You big dummy. At least we got video of it, YES VIDEO OF IT! Thanks, internet!

Something that could be YUGE next week, or else get shut down, it could go either way, is the #CruzSexScandal.  We’ll keep our eye on that.

Disturbed played in Dallas on Wednesday and David Draiman went off on a female fan in the balcony that was on her phone. IMO he drug it out a little too long.  If he would have just stopped after like 15 seconds, that would have been fine by me. I just feel like it went from “haha he’s gonna school her” to “omg, he’s kind of being mean” to “eeeeeeeeeeek, I wish he would leave her alone.” My stance remains; she paid for her ticket, she’s buying drinks, might have even bought merch…she’s free to do whatever she wants. Why not focus on the other 5 thousand ppl having a great time? What do you think?

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