This happened before Pizza Pthursday, and I couldn’t wait a whole day to share it with you.

This young NHL fan has mad pizza skillz!

A couple horny drug users have ruined the Mazo nude beach for all who frequently flap there. Poor, old, naked hippies. Where will they go to sunbathe their taints now? Kind of sucks, but for as long as I can remember there have been entities looking to close the nudie beach. It’s prime beach real estate, don’t cha know.

Back during the rise of Hitler, the allies prepared a very detailed report on him. “Know your enemy,” right? Well, we found out a few weeks ago Hitler had a micropenis, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, this newly declassified report says Hitler had a poo fetish. Like full on love dump.…with his niece.  Dude. WTF.  And he LOVED big, round booties, but who doesn’t?

On You vs The World this morning we covered WTF to do if you’re all alone and choking. Most likely on bon bons or meatballs, but that’s besides the point. Essentially, throw yourself on the floor from your knees. Practice this before you really need to use it. Or you’ll probably end up knocking yourself out, or at least a few teeth.