The best bot to hit twitter is @JoelDongsteen. It replaces every “God” in Joel Osteen’s tweets with “Your Dick.” And it’s effing glorious. Nothing against people that tweet bible passages and whatever else, but I think most of us agree Joel Osteen is an unbelievable douche, and dick jokes are hilarious.  This guy was super butthurt about us covering the story though. LOL.   #ZeroFucksBro

A court in Oklahoma ruled that forcing someone to have oral sex while they are unconscious from drinking isn’t rape. You read that right. The case involves a 17 year old boy who took a 16 year old girl home after drinking in the park together. She was so drunk she had to be carried into and out of the car.  The girl ended up getting taken to the hospital and was found to have a BAC of .34. The girl came to when the hospital staff was conducting a sexual assault examination and they found the 17 year old boy’s semen around her mouth. And somehow….that’s not rape. How does one consent when unconscious? SMH. Unreal. Way to go Oklahoma.

Wisconsin is ranked the 4th most dangerous state for drunk driving. Idaho, Montana and North Dakota filled out the top 3.  The survey considered fatality rates, the number of drunken driving arrests and the penalties for drunken driving. The group found Wisconsin to have penalties “not as steep as other states.” Covering this story led to us finding out Appleton is considered the drunkest town in WI according to one source, and Pewaukee comin’ in first according to another source.  We even found a list for the drunkest counties in WI. Thanks, internet! I’d like to take this time to air a beef, not a queef. I went to an establishment for lunch with a friend the other day and I ordered a bloody mary and a pint of miller lite. I WAS DENIED! Can’t get a whole pint, just a small chaser glass. WHAT? Is this effing Wisconsin???? Never in my bloody mary ordering life have I been denied a full size beer with a bloody mary. The beef has been aired.