Some dude in Florida got hammered with his wife, got in a fight, then drove him without her….or so he thought. Turns out, his wife was on roof of his car the whole time.  He drove 6 miles after he figured out she was on his car because he didn’t have a cell phone to call cops. Only in Florida, yo.

Still in Florida… some mom bought a stripper for her 8 year old’s birthday party. WTF America? What in the F.  8 Years old.

A chick in New Hampshire was busted selling heroin that was stamped with the Donald Trump logo. I wonder if she has all candidates available. Jill Stein, Gary Johnson, Bernie Sanders… all different heroins. That seems like a lot of work for a druggie.

April is testicular cancer awareness month. So feel your balls to be safe. I’ve had 2 good friends get testicular cancer, and it’s been a hard road for both of them. Please, if you feel anything weird, go to your doctor. We value and love you as a JJO fan, and your balls are our priority.