The salad bar. A place loved by many. One of the only places you’ll find pickled beets up for grabs for the masses. Salad bar etiquette, although second nature for some of us, isn’t observed by all. Lindsay Williams was never taught, and therefore has never used salad bar etiquette. Lindsay was at Mazzio’s Pizza in Oklahoma City and she wanted salad, bad. So bad, she wasn’t going to eff around using those pesky tongs. Lindsay grabbed a handful of lettuce and put it on her plate. An off-duty cop named Adebola Atoka witnessed the breech of salad bar rules and told the waitstaff, who promptly changed the lettuce bowl out. Then Lindsay did it AGAIN. At this point, Deputy Atoka said to her “you shouldn’t do that,” and then Lindsay effing snapped and tried to punch her!!! ERMERGHERD! hahaha! That’s an off duty cop, yo! Assault and battery charges with your ranch dressing? I think so.

Maryland and Massachusetts are two different states, unless you’re buying a Terp shirt at Wal-Mart.  The company ended up pulling a University of Maryland Terps shirt because the outline of Massachusetts was on it.  What a huge, awesome fail. LOL.  If you’ve never browsed the People of Wal-Mart site, do it now. 😉

 “Get off my lawn!” A phrase we’ve heard uttered many a times by old timers. “Stop shi**ing on my lawn!” not as common of a phrase. Lonale Shaw busted some dude crapping on his lawn and did what any of us would do, he grabbed a knife and started stabbing the pooper. The pooper, after being stabbed, ended up getting the knife from Shaw, and then stabbed him! Double stabbing! This Shaw fellow ended up getting assault chargers, but what about the pooper? Does he get off scott free?

People get horny touching robot butts. Did you know that? I didn’t either, until today. You weirdos.