It’s all about animals today! Whooooop!

First of all, we hear a lot of crappy stories about cops, so it’s nice when a story like this one makes news.  Officer James Givens of the Cincinnati Police Department was in his squad car in a parking lot on Monday when a goose started pecking on his door and honking.  He threw some bread out the window but the goose ignored the food.  “I threw some food out for her, but she didn’t take it. She just kept pecking and quacking. Then she walked away, stopped and looked back. Then came over again and pecked some more,” Givens said.  When the goose walked away and looked back again the cop decided to follow.  The friggin’ goose led him to one of her goslings that was tangled in a balloon string. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIZ???  ERMERGHERD! Another officer ended up assisting in freeing the gosling, and everyone’s effing mind is blown!!! “It seems like something made up. It was just incredible,” said Givens. “I honestly don’t know why I decided to follow her, but I did. It makes me wonder — do they know to turn to humans when they need help?”   YES! It also means geese are capable of controlling our minds and our bodies! GAH! hahahah.

Here’s a cockatoo farting and running away LOL.

Here’s a wombat farting and then demolishing some corn on the cob. Yeah, buddy.  #Goals

Some white trash family in Texas is trying to get money from the Dr Pepper company.  Well, that’s my take on this story anyway.   John Graves gave his 3 year old grandson a Dr Pepper in a 20 oz bottle, the kid didn’t finish it, so they put the lid on it and opened it the next day, upon which they discovered a “rat” inside the bottle.  The “rat” looks more like a mouse, and COME ON, you totally put that thing in there! The kid went to the doctor and they ran a bunch of tests, we’re awaiting results.  Dr Pepper Snapple company wants the rat and the bottle to run tests on it, but the family says they want to run their own tests first.  Dr Pepper maintains there is no effing way the thing got in there during bottling.  Seriously. Scam.

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