A couple restaurant employees and a few vet clinic employees rescued some kittens that were stuck under the porch in front their storefronts.  Mama kitty had apparently approached the vet when he was opening the clinic a few days prior.  They vaxxed, bathed and fed the mama kitty but didn’t know where the kittens were until they got hungry and started yelling for food. Kittens and mama were reunited and will be available for adoption in a few weeks.

Stop kissing your chickens!!! The CDC has warned back yard chicken farmers to stop snuggling and smooching their favorite pets. There’s been an uptick in salmonella cases due to more people raising chix and eating their delicious, yummy eggs!! Sorry, totally got sidetracked thinking about farm fresh eggs.  Anyhoo, according to the CDC’s research, 13% of the chicken-related salmonella cases they studied from 1990 to 2014 were due, in part, to some human-on-chicken smooching.  STOP IT!

 

Ontario is apparently home to the world’s worst teacher.  Jennifer Elizabeth Green-Johnson teaches sophomores through seniors.  She’s currently suspended for telling a student to “lick me where I fart.” But that’s not it, she’s had several problems being mouthy to students in the past, including this super effed up list:

•telling a student who brought coffee to class, “Get that f–king thing out of here”

•branding one student a “bloody pedophile”

•telling a pupil, “I have never said this to a student before but f–k you”

•telling her class, “It’s debate, not masturbate”

•quipping, “You mean a bribe? I’d be able to s–t for a week ’cause of all that fiber,” after the student offered to buy her muffins in exchange for a passing grade

•declaring in class that one female student looks like a frumpy old lady today

Wowser.  Get this ho out the school system!

 

OMG. How about these jags that stole a pug puppy from Janesville Petland? Apparently Jason Haye and Allison Prijic walked into the Petland on Saturday and walked out with a pug puppy under Jason’s shirt.  Well, the video made the news and Jason’s mom dropped the dime on him.  She told the cops her son had “went off the deep end” and was driving a gold Range Rover.  Police saw the vehicle drive by them and initiated a traffic stop.  When they talked to Jason in his gold Range Rover he claimed to have no idea what puppy they were talking about.  In the middle of the convo with the officer the puppy jumped out from underneath a pile of clothes and onto the seat and barked.  TOTES ADORBS! Anyhoo, turns out Jason and Allison got WRECKED on 20 Xanax, stole the puppy, and completely forgot they did it.  Oye oye oye.  Shoplifting charges are being tossed at Jason and Allison is awaiting pretrial.  Couple losers.  Get a grip!

 

A driver in Portland rolled their car when a spider came down from their rear view mirror and they freaked out! Good thing the driver is okay, car is totaled though. I wonder how insurance will rule on this one!

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