A school district in Virginia has suspended the use of To Kill A Mockingbird within their cirriculum, pending a ruling on permenantly eliminating it along with Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. THIS MAKES ME SO MAD!! Those are two of my favorite books! GAH! Anyway, one parent bitched that her bi-racial kid was having a hard time reading To Kill A Mockingbird cuz of the dreaded “n-word.” Let’s not consider the fact that it’s one of the most revered novels about anti-black bigotry in the midcentury American South that has been a staple of school syllabi for 50 years. The mother, Marie Rothstein-Williams, said she believes the books are “great literature,” but said at a school board meeting, “There is so much racial slurs in there and offensive wording that you can’t get past that, and right now we are a nation divided as it is.”  DUDE NOOOOOOOOOO! Parenting!! You’re doing it wrong!!!!!!!!  If you haven’t read To Kill A Mockingbird in awhile, you should revisit it.  I just finished reading it a few months ago, and wow.  Some of the crap in there still rings true today.  Talk about a powerful message.


Two sex shop employees scared an armed would be robber away by throwing dildos at him, in what is probably the most amazing surveillance video ever seen LOL.  One of the employees who wants to be referred to as “Amy” was cleaning up around the check out area of Lotions and Lace in San Bernadino when a guy with a mask on his face came in the store and pulled out a gun.  “I just thought he was trying to be funny, to scare us,” Amy said, “But then I saw the gun and it was like, really? I don’t have time for this.”  So Amy starts yelling at the dude and then the guy grabs her, and that’s when Amy’s coworker started throwing giant dongs at him. Dude ran away with his tail between his legs.  You go, girls!

We were talking about awesome X-mas cocktails this morning.  Click here for an amazing list and click here for the Eggnog White Russian recipe.  Tis the season for boozin’.


Richard Marx is the hero the world needs.  Him and his wife, the oh so hot Daisy Fuentes were on a flight from Vietnam to South Korea Tuesday and some passenger went nuts. Dude started acting crazy, including striking the flight crew and pulling their hair.  Richard Marx jumped in to help subdue the guy.  It was a 4 hour ordeal cuz the flight staff was never really able to get the dude under control, they didn’t know how to use the taser or how to properly restrain the rowdy passenger with rope.  The guy ended up getting arrested as soon as the plane landed and Richard Marx ended up officially on the Hero List.

A pregnant Florida lady has been selling her positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist, presumably to trap dudes in relationships with women they don’t want to be with.  Yikes.  She has sold them for $25 a piece or two for $35.  The ad read: “Whether you are using it for your own amusement such as a prank, or to blackmail the CEO of wherever who you are having an affair with I DONT CARE AT ALL this is an absolutely no questions asked type of deal tell me what you need I provide it for monetary exchange. I will not overcharge for the urine test but I will not be low balled either do not contact me if you are going to be cheap and difficult.”  The ad has since been taken down, but the woman was reportedly making $200 a day and paying for college.  Turns out it’s not illegal.  Beeroh.

A security guard at a San Diego Chargers game was caught on video jerkin’ it while eyeballing the cheerleaders.  He’s since been fired and remains unidentified, if you want to see the creepiest video ever, click here.